By Kamryn Brinson

I do not have any social media, outside of a Pinterest which I refuse to count. Pinterest is really the media without the social. I also do not count Youtube as social media, given the way I use it– no comments, no posts, no real interactions past liking a video, just watching and learning. I grew up in the early 2000s where kids got phones in middle school and smartphones in high school. We still played outside and are now chronically online in our early to mid twenties. As I grew up, my brother and I were forbidden from creating social media accounts. The only social media I ever had was Snapchat, and that of course, was a big no-no. I made it in the fall of my sophomore year of high school (2013), and I hid it from my mom for a long, long time. I used it for what everyone else used it for- keeping up with friends, videos of memories I fondly remember, and conversations that would disappear. I posted on snapchat maybe once a month, if that. For stretches of time, I would forget it even existed. I kept my snapchat until almost the end of 2022, almost ten years. In that time, I was happy with my experience. But I don’t think the experience I had is comparable to the general experience of those on social media.

There was no comparing myself to others, no creation or amplification of insecurities, no cyber-bullying. Looking from the outside in, social media is good for a few and damaging for many. Now that social media can make people money, it has changed some people’s lives for the better. That is not the majority of social media users though. It does, however, give people the hope that they can be one of those lucky few– if they are cool enough, if they look perfect enough, if people care what they have to say. This can lead to constantly comparing yourself to unrealistic standards which leads to self-hate and oftentimes, mistreatment of your body. It can lead to diminished self-worth and the resulting attention seeking behaviors. Those behaviors can be very dangerous and damaging in and of themselves, even without the tendency people have to always be the ‘most’ of something, to push the furthest. Even without those behaviors, we all know the phrase “hurt people hurt people.” In a situation where everyone feels insecure, self-hating, and overly-critical, they are likely to inflict that pain on others. They can punch up, punch down, and punch toward their peers. That desire to pick at others the way they pick at themselves combined with the perceived safety of being behind a screen will allow people to say the most disrespectful and foul things they would never dream of saying to someone directly, face to face. 

At the same time, social media has also been a place where people who don’t necessarily want money or fame or anything like that just come to share what they like or to talk to people about their experiences. Community, exposure, and possibility are the key benefits of social media. It can build positive environments and supportive communities. Social Media can push people and inspire them to be better than they are. It can make things people once thought were unattainable seem attainable. Daily, you can see people doing a challenge “no fast food for 30 days: day 23” “writing a letter of gratitude each week: week 5” “running 1 mile every day, new PR!” These challenges show people change can happen gradually and even encourage viewers to try themselves. Social media can be a saving grace to those who are alone and feel isolated and buried in their daily lives. Social media can be a gateway to different cultures, ways of life, fields of study, or even planets. The internet is already a fountain of information no one person could ever finish drinking from, but add in the quick addictive draw from 7 seconds to a minute clips that draw you in immediately– there’s no telling how much a person could consume. Rabbit holes 17 videos deep lead you to a topic you never knew existed before, and maybe that is what makes it so special. Logging into youtube or tiktok or instagram or twitter can feel like an adventure if you allow yourself to stray from your For Your Page or Timeline or whatever it’s called on various sites (I unfortunately have no idea). There is so much to see and hear and think. I will caution this, though, the short quick videos people spend hours scrolling through do have an effect on attention span. I myself have felt that. Even though I prefer more long-form content when watching Youtube videos, it is all too easy for me to fall into the pattern of scrolling through shorts for an hour at a time, unable to commit to a video if it doesn’t get to the point in the first thirty seconds. I feel as though my attention span has been decimated in terms of consuming anything that is not video content, unfortunately. Because I used to be a voracious reader, I am fighting to regain it through reading and even audio books when my eyes stray from the page too often, but it is a battle hard won. I have a long way to go. Back to the original point though… 

Because I practically live with Youtube constantly playing in the background, I don’t think I miss much of what goes on with the social media apps. There’s always tiktok compilations, podcasts talking about the latest twitter drama, or viral songs and dances just posted on youtube shorts. In fact, I feel like I can be a distant observer of it all without having to touch it or get pulled in. The online sense of anonymity people feel behind their screen name or “anonymous” is amplified by a million when I think of my lack of an online presence. No one knows who I am or how to reach me, mostly. I have some leftover stuff from professional events when I was young, but there’s nothing I put out there myself. There’s no incriminating tweets from my preteens, no photos showing my whole body during the time where teen girls are taught you have to show how you are desirable, no rants about people I don’t like or people who have done me wrong. In a way, I was saved first by my parents in giving me that limitation, and then I saved myself by continuing to enforce that boundary between myself and the pervasiveness of social media. Many people have told me to make accounts, many people have said I am strange for not having anything, but I think it has worked for me and the life I have been living. Are there opportunities that come from social media that I will not have access to, definitely. I’m sure there is so much more I could get into online, both good and bad. I think, however, that that is a loss I’m willing to take in order to protect my peace and keep myself from the numerous harms of social media.  

This blog is my first official platform where I post my opinions/thoughts and have any real sense of presence. It scares me a bit, but I want to build something important with my beloved Honey Whines, and I want to connect with and help people any way I can. Let’s see what good we can do together huh 🙂 ?

How do you all feel about social media? Has it improved your life significantly? Has it damaged your mental health at all? Perhaps both? Leave a comment and let me know.